Monday, May 14, 2007

Do What You Love...

I got this in an email, Ithought I'd share.

I was dicussing this topic with some of my peers yesterday. The topic is this: How do you find what you love to do? It's such a big question. What absolutely boils my blood is that we hear we should be doing what we love to do all the time, but there's not any step by step advice out there on how to find what you love to do. The advice that is out there helps to a certain degree, but it's just a bunch of pieces thrown together with no coherent logical structure or order.

A perfect example is this. In order to find your passion, we are told to ask ourselves: "What would you do if you had a million dollars (tax free)?"

The typical answer ensues: "Well gee, I would put it in an account that yields high interest and live off the interest each year. Then I would move to Hawaii, buy a house, sip margaritas all day, play video games, go to the beach, swim, travel around the world, taste all the cuisines, read the books, play the sports, and on and on and on."
Does this really help? Not really. Sure, you figured out what your lazy butt likes to do, but it doesn't really answer the question that's hidden, which is "How do I make money doing what I love to do?

What's the result? People working in jobs they hate, feeling trapped because they can't quit as they rely on that sole source of income to finance a lifestyle tailored to escape their grim reality, drifting aimlessly in life, in short, leading lives of quiet desperation, as so eloquently put by Henry David Thoreau.

Why don't they just quit their jobs and pursue what they love to do you ask?

Two Reasons.
Reason #1:
They don't know what they love to do.

Reason #2:
Fear. They've got a lifestyle to uphold, bills to pay for, families to take care of, fear of no steady source of income, fear of what other people might think or say about them, etc. Fear.
Conquer indecision in Reason #1 and ACT, and you will most definitely conquer all fear in

The very fact that you are seeking to find what you love to do is a BIG step believe it or not. Many people in their lifetime avoid or do not even seek to find the answer to that question. They hear the question in their head but have become extremely adept at silencing it.
It is extremely important to answer the question on how to find what you love to do.
You must decide what destination to steer your life in. Otherwise, you leave yourself wide open for others to direct your life, as well as at the mercy of the winds and storms of life. If you know where your destination is, the rest is easy.

You will find once you know what you want to do, all uncertainty and burden will be lifted off your shoulders and you will have clear vision as to what your journey is and that journey will truly be joyful.

What about how to make money doing what you love?
The question of how to monetize doing what you love is certainly a valid one. There are bills to pay, stomachs to feed, families to support, etc. Don't worry about that for now.
First things first, you've got to find what you love to do.

Why is it so hard to find what you love to do?
The answer is:
It's not hard at all.
You read right.
It's not hard at all.

Then why are so many people having difficulty finding what they love to do?
Because they've never truly asked themselves.
What amazes me is that there seems to be a stigma attached to spending time with oneself. You have to constantly be doing something, whether it's going to the game, drinking beer with the buddies, going to that hot party or club downtown, etc. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with doing all that, but I suspect the vast majority of people who engage in this "I have to be doing something every minute because I can't be by myself" mentality are just putting up a front to show people how satisfying and fulfilling their life is, when in reality, it's just the opposite. The irony here is that spending time with oneself is EXACTLY what you should be doing to lead a satisfying and fulfilling life.

People think you have to travel around the world, experience new things, etc to find what you love to do. No. You just have to sit down and decide. The answer is already within you. You just have to dig it up and avoid procrastinating. Your brain has absorbed all sorts of information and experiences and it has the answer ready to be unraveled.

Just let it out.
Be honest. Have you actually sat down by yourself with no distractions, with your sole focus on asking yourself what you love to do without picking up your cell phone, surfing the net, watching TV, chatting on AIM, listening to your favorite song, playing solitaire or minesweeper, checking your email, returning a call, getting a drink of water, going to the bathroom, looking at the clock, reading a magazine article, I could go on and on but you get the point. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you haven't for the sole purpose of you reading this article.
Why is that?
Fear of what the answer will be if you ask yourself what you love to do.
The answer is: I don't know.

But that is exactly why you MUST find out. You're avoiding the question because you know the answer is you don't know, but that's ok. Admitting you don't know is perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with it. You're way ahead of a ton of other people who learn to quiet the voice within that asks the question of "What do I love to do?"

And let's say you're one of the few people who actually specifically know what they love to do. The next thought that pops in their head is "Oh, I can't make any money off of that." The seed that was planted never grew.
I hate vague answers. I want clear, logical, definitive answers to questions.
So let's do this.

Step 1: You WILL find the answer. No doubt.
You will find the answer. You will find it. No doubt.
Approach the question with this mentality and you are sure to find it. How long will it take? It doesn't matter. Bottom line, you will find the answer.
By doing this, you automatically instill an anti quitting mechanism within yourself, because you know you will find the answer. If you know what you want to do, then you will do it.
For example, if you know you want to arrive in New York, you'll find ways to get there. You'll hop a train, bus, or plane going to New York and will arrive in New York.
If you don't have the cash, you'll borrow it, or get a job and save up, or get a job as a flight attendant to get there for free. It doesn't matter how long it will take or what you need to do because you know you're going to New York.
All your actions onward from the decision that you want to arrive in New York will revolve around getting to New York.
Read that last sentence again.
All your actions onward from the decision that you want to arrive in New York will revolve around getting to New York.
Finding what you love to do = Deciding to arrive in New York.

Step 2: Make a list of your skills and interests in two columns and WRITE THEM DOWN
(I'll explain why you must write things down later):
KEY is to WRITE THESE DOWN!!
I cannot emphasize this enough. Don't think you can do it all in your head. WRITE IT DOWN.
When I mean by skills is any skill. It could be an intangible skill. Empty your clip here, list EVERY skill you have. It could be programming, making web pages, talking, listening, persuading people, typing, flirting, analyzing, giving speeches, making things easy to understand, whistling, blowing bubbles with your spit, it could be anything. Don't be bashful. List everything you perceive your skills to be.

On your other column, lists your interests and don't be shy here as well. List EVERY interest you could possibly think of. Spiders, shoes, hair, makeup, basketball, tennis, thinking of ideas, babysitting, walking, hiking, fireworks, helping people, making fun of people, fishing, tai chi, karate, seashells, seaweed, can openers, anything goes. Yes, I did say can openers. Your interests can also include subjects you are knowledgeable about as well. Computers, economics, biology, baskebtall plays, football plays, magic tricks, etc.
To help you write down more interests, think of what you were interested in at your previous jobs and write them down. Also, think of what you were NOT interested in your previous jobs and write the exact opposite.

Asking yourself the following questions may shed light as to what skills and interests you possess. If you went in a bookstore, which section do you naturally gravitate toward?
Ask friends for any skills and interests they see in you. You'll be surprised at how much insight they have on you that you've never thought of before.

What do you spend most of your time doing? What do you look forward to doing?

Go back and think of your accomplishments as a child. What kind of skills and interests revolved around your accomplishments?

What did people praise you on doing?

What did your teachers or parents say you had a skill or knack of doing?

Why am I emphasizing skills and interests here?

Skills:
Because you've got to leverage what you're strong with. And don't say you don't have any. Everybody has skills. You've just never sat down and thought about it and wrote it down. By using your skills, you've got a head start, a catalyst.

Interests:
Simply because you've got to love what you do. By including interests, you include another form of an anti quitting mechanism.
Focus on generating as many skills and interests you can possibly think of and WRITE IT DOWN!
You may find that your skills are gravitating toward one or two particular skills. The same may hold true for interests. Keep that in mind for step 3.

Step 3: Set aside some TRUE alone time with no distractions to focus and figure out what you love to do by asking yourself the right questions.
It amazes me how people set aside time for taxes, cooking, watching movies, reading, but when it comes to their own personal future, they NEVER set aside any time. How much MORE time should you set aside to figure out the path that will make you happy?
Ok, you've set some private alone time with no distractions; now what?
You must ask yourself an extremely clear question. Clarity is key here. The clearer the question, the easier the answer will be.

For example, if I ask you what 12 times 12 is, the answer comes easily, 144.
However, if I ask, what is some even two digit number times some other even two digit number? Guess how long it'll take you to answer that question?
Clear questions lead to clear answers.

Another key thing is to WRITE it down. I know you've heard it a billion times and it's so cliché but there's a reason. Writing things down allows you to easily make connections you've never thought of before because you see it on paper. It also allows you to "free room" in your brain for other thoughts because they are put in another container so to speak.

If I ask you, what's 257 times 852, try doing that in your head vs. writing it down. When you write it down, the answer comes out easier, not to mention more accurate. -Brian Kim

If you already love what you do for a living, you can still find other things that you may not be aware of that you love to do. If you are looking for your passion, follow the steps. It may require you to do this more than once but its okay. Just do it. Start today. Why do tomorrow what you can do today?

Trust me, it will literally Save Your Life. Have a great day!

3 comments:

JustMeWriting said...

This is a great post and something my friends go through all the time. I've actually always found it interesting when people say they DON'T know what their passion is...I'd even go so far as to argue...the know WHAT it is, but just can't figure out the capacity they want it applied within their lives.

It's the thing that excites you, or even the situation or circumstance that boils your blood. It's that area of interest you'd work within or on for FREE. I totally agree with the fact the MOST people CAN'T do what they want to do, because in most cases it's not really going to pay your bills...so then you have ME...lol, here doing this...DAG, thanks sheletha for depressing me...LOL.

Shai said...

My passion is words, reading and writing them.

Mizrepresent said...

Great post! You got me thinking and believing!