Married but Looking

Whats the difference between a hoe and a bitch?

A hoe fucks everybody, a bitch fucks everybody but you. ~Fear of a Black Hat.

Crazy Dudes must BEWARE...if you do -ish to mess with me you will get blogged about. Almost all of it is blog worthy. Case in point:

Making friends in a new city is kinda tough, especially when you are over 30. Imagine walking up to someone asking them "Will you be my friend?" then racing to the sandbox. It doesn't work that way. Furthermore, its not the same as going through the thick and thicker with someone and seeing them at their worst. Things like that make friendships develop into something more than a reason and a season.

There was this guy that I met that seemed to be cool. He was an educator and we really had some good conversations. In one of our conversations I found out he was a married man that didn't wear a ring. He gave me some round about reason on how it got lost and the only thing that I could think was "Damn, if I was his wife I would be really pissed." None of this fazed him in the slightest. He was very upfront about how he was happily married with two small children. I took a page from Steve Harvey (a book I never read, just listened to his radio show) and set boundaries quickly so that there wouldn't be any confusion. In the effort to be real clear I told him exactly what I wanted in him as a friend.

1. I wanted to be introduced to other friends both male and female.

2. I wanted more conversations like we were having both captivating and stimulating.

3. If needed, a possible ride to airport.

4. A dinner companion.

Nothing really too demanding just enough to satisfy male/female interaction. Notice no sex was going to be involved. Purely platonic. This was going to be a challenge for me because I haven't had a friend like this since Jason in college. He was great, and my prototype for a mature friendship.

Dude couldn't handle it, by the fourth month he was trying to make his move into the panties. I told him over and over again that he was in violation of the "contract." No longer was it understood that sex would not be involved between us. I told him that I could show him better than I could tell him. It made our interactions very uncomfortable. Each time he would try, I would say no. When he would call past midnight I would not answer the phone. I actually set his ring tone to "If your girl only knew" by Aaliyah. He started to take it personally as if I was rejecting him. I was attracted to him, but not with his marital status. He was off limits.

I'm not totally innocent either. One of the guys that he introduced me to was waaaay incredibly sexy...I couldn't/didn't resist, so when the opportunity presented itself I sprang into action. This guy was single and was getting ready to move to another city. One time...that's all I needed. I'm sure he told of the escapade. Dudes talk like that. They love gossip just like women.

Anyway, he came over one night and everything started as pleasant conversation and I was elated because this is how it was in the beginning. I must have thought that too soon because as the time ticked on he started to make his move again into the panties. This moved us into another conversation where in essence he thought I was full of shit for having some damn standards. He started coming at me with the bullshit of his own insecurities. That if he lied to me and tried to run some game the whole situation would be different. I told him all this was because he was MARRIED! nothing more, nothing less. I would hate to be the woman on the other side of infidelity and damn I'm not going to play the bytch on the side. What good is that??? How many times has he told me that he's happily married? Why would any woman want to mess that up? He doesn't understand me and I don't understand why he doesn't understand me. He thought he was going to be my "dick under glass." He thought he was going to be the one where in case of emergency of extream horniness, that he would be the first one I call. I believe there is enough single Mr. Right-Now to go around if I wanted one. Why do I have to be full of shit because I know my value and respect the institute of marriage? I involuntarily played that game in my twenties...and when you are grown and know better you tend to try to do better. That's one thing I know for sure.

He ended up telling me that he's going to fall back. He made the effort to have a platonic friend, but he couldn't do it because he was a promiscuous person. That's how he's been before and after marriage. He wasn't going to change that and he no longer was interested in putting me in a precarious situation. I still think that he thinks that I'm full of it...it could be because of his homeboy and I and I got my eye on another. :)