
This would be the great beginning of a love story if somebody acted right.
He was a man in which I had many firsts. He was the first to to nasty naughty things that I like so much. He introduced me to the intoxicating sounds of
neo-soul in the music and CD of Joe - Everything. That was the prequel to Maxwell. He told me he liked hoop earrings, and from then on it became my staple accessory. He was the first to captivate every sense of my being. Verbal: Never before had I created and exchanged a special language with a man, where he could decode the meaning. Visual: Eye contact was seductive. Hearing: His baritone voice could calm me down, or take me to climax. Touch: When he hugged me, he held the small of my back and squeezed. The embrace protected me and I felt whole Taste: Oh so sweet, Yes he was the first for that as well. He held my hand as I entered my womanhood. I was only 19. We met as I was taking my math credits at a nearby community college rather than the university that I attended. He attended the same university yet I'd never seen him on campus. He had his own apartment, and his own snazzy Sidekick. I liked the independence that he owned, it was what I was yearning to achieve.
Together we became friends. For a little over a year and a half He spoiled me by being at my beck and call at any moments notice. He took me off of campus when I didn't want the cafeterias menu for dinner. He had cool friends. He was friendly to my friends, but I kept his attention. I made him laugh, reminding him that I was the funniest chick he would ever know. I was confident, conceited, and sassy. One day those traits became too much for him and he said he couldn't do it anymore. It didn't matter to me at the time because he was replaceable. In my mind there were more to be conquered. I was on a college campus, I was coming into my own and men were noticing. He never made a commitment, he just played the role.
Fast forward to about six months later: The attention that I craved from the black males on campus became lackluster. The whole game was obvious, and the chase became meaningless. He was one of a kind. I was tired of playing games. He ran across my mind way too many times until I decided to get him back. I contacted him, even in my cocky demeanor I told him what I wanted and what I wanted was him. I told him I would be good for him and so the games began. Still no real commitment, we held each others hand and played the role. This time with no direction. Where he led, I followed.
Fast forward an additional two months. He was someones daddy, and he told me "There would never be a (insert his name) & Sheletha" My insecurity of worthlessness began to bubble and brew. I pushed the hurt deep down and went on with my life. That one quote ran in my head back and forth millions of times feeding that insecurity as I failed in real time with different men until I became numb. He's not to blame, its just is what it is.
Fast forward 13 years: My life has changed drastically. The man that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt loved me unconditionally was now gone. I was armored with carrying his love legacy I'm stronger, wiser, better. So much better. I'm in a new state, new challenges, new fears. Its WMU's homecoming and I had to go home. The whole city was vibing with FACEBOOK connecting alumni for this meet and greet. It was great and within the next few hours I would be flying back to another reality. First, it was time to have some mother/daughter time, I'm sure she may have felt neglected during the short weekend back in the city. We stopped at the bank before some retail therapy (I get it honestly) and I see a gentleman that I recognize from my past but wasn't at the homecoming festivities. When I stopped him to say hello (I had acclimated to that southern charm) he quickly hung up from his cell phone conversation.
Me: I remember your face, but I'm sorry I can't remember your name. (That's pretty much how many of the conversations that weekend started)
Him: Yeah, I remember you too. Oh yeah you were _________ girl!
Me: Uh, I guess. How you doing?
Him: Great, just great. What are you doing now?
Me: I live in NC, working just doing my thang, yanno?
Him: What? (then he laughs) Yeah yanno ya boy lives in NC too, over there by Duke!
At this point my mother walks out of the bank, looks at him up and down and proceeds to the car. (I'm finally giggling about that!)
Me: Oh my Duke University? That's about 45 minutes away from me.
Him: Yeah, I sold him his car and the next day he drove there. He was supposed to get married a couple of months ago, but I got a call that it was called off. I'm not sure why, but yeah I was supposed to be in the wedding.
Me: Squo?
Him: Fa'Sho, yeah so are you married?
Me: Nahhh. Im not the marrying type.
Him: What does that mean? You wanna talk to ya boy? Im going to call him. He's going to get a kick outta me seeing you today.
Me: Nahh I don't wanna talk to him. Im good.
Him: Come on, Im going to call him right now.
Me: Im good. He doesn't want to talk to me anyway. He told me there would never be a _____________ & Sheletha. So Im just going to let that be. Im good, seriously.
Him: Awwww you can't hold that against him, we were young and stupid back then. We live and learn. Gimme your number.
Me: NO.
Him: Why?
Me: NO because you are going to give it to him and I don't wanna talk to him.
Him: C'mon!
My mom: Let's go!
Me. NO
Him: Okay, but I wanna keep in touch with you. You were always so sweet and cool.
Me: Uhhh, I know what you are going to do and I already don't like it XXX-XXX-XXXX
Fast forward 10 hours: My plane lands in RDU Im struggling to catch my bag because I packed to much and its moving too fast on the turnstile. My phone rings to the BOONDOCKS THEME SONG.
He was a man in which I had many firsts. He was the first to to nasty naughty things that I like so much. He introduced me to the intoxicating sounds of
neo-soul in the music and CD of Joe - Everything. That was the prequel to Maxwell. He told me he liked hoop earrings, and from then on it became my staple accessory. He was the first to captivate every sense of my being. Verbal: Never before had I created and exchanged a special language with a man, where he could decode the meaning. Visual: Eye contact was seductive. Hearing: His baritone voice could calm me down, or take me to climax. Touch: When he hugged me, he held the small of my back and squeezed. The embrace protected me and I felt whole Taste: Oh so sweet, Yes he was the first for that as well. He held my hand as I entered my womanhood. I was only 19. We met as I was taking my math credits at a nearby community college rather than the university that I attended. He attended the same university yet I'd never seen him on campus. He had his own apartment, and his own snazzy Sidekick. I liked the independence that he owned, it was what I was yearning to achieve.
Together we became friends. For a little over a year and a half He spoiled me by being at my beck and call at any moments notice. He took me off of campus when I didn't want the cafeterias menu for dinner. He had cool friends. He was friendly to my friends, but I kept his attention. I made him laugh, reminding him that I was the funniest chick he would ever know. I was confident, conceited, and sassy. One day those traits became too much for him and he said he couldn't do it anymore. It didn't matter to me at the time because he was replaceable. In my mind there were more to be conquered. I was on a college campus, I was coming into my own and men were noticing. He never made a commitment, he just played the role.
Fast forward to about six months later: The attention that I craved from the black males on campus became lackluster. The whole game was obvious, and the chase became meaningless. He was one of a kind. I was tired of playing games. He ran across my mind way too many times until I decided to get him back. I contacted him, even in my cocky demeanor I told him what I wanted and what I wanted was him. I told him I would be good for him and so the games began. Still no real commitment, we held each others hand and played the role. This time with no direction. Where he led, I followed.
Fast forward an additional two months. He was someones daddy, and he told me "There would never be a (insert his name) & Sheletha" My insecurity of worthlessness began to bubble and brew. I pushed the hurt deep down and went on with my life. That one quote ran in my head back and forth millions of times feeding that insecurity as I failed in real time with different men until I became numb. He's not to blame, its just is what it is.
Fast forward 13 years: My life has changed drastically. The man that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt loved me unconditionally was now gone. I was armored with carrying his love legacy I'm stronger, wiser, better. So much better. I'm in a new state, new challenges, new fears. Its WMU's homecoming and I had to go home. The whole city was vibing with FACEBOOK connecting alumni for this meet and greet. It was great and within the next few hours I would be flying back to another reality. First, it was time to have some mother/daughter time, I'm sure she may have felt neglected during the short weekend back in the city. We stopped at the bank before some retail therapy (I get it honestly) and I see a gentleman that I recognize from my past but wasn't at the homecoming festivities. When I stopped him to say hello (I had acclimated to that southern charm) he quickly hung up from his cell phone conversation.
Me: I remember your face, but I'm sorry I can't remember your name. (That's pretty much how many of the conversations that weekend started)
Him: Yeah, I remember you too. Oh yeah you were _________ girl!
Me: Uh, I guess. How you doing?
Him: Great, just great. What are you doing now?
Me: I live in NC, working just doing my thang, yanno?
Him: What? (then he laughs) Yeah yanno ya boy lives in NC too, over there by Duke!
At this point my mother walks out of the bank, looks at him up and down and proceeds to the car. (I'm finally giggling about that!)
Me: Oh my Duke University? That's about 45 minutes away from me.
Him: Yeah, I sold him his car and the next day he drove there. He was supposed to get married a couple of months ago, but I got a call that it was called off. I'm not sure why, but yeah I was supposed to be in the wedding.
Me: Squo?
Him: Fa'Sho, yeah so are you married?
Me: Nahhh. Im not the marrying type.
Him: What does that mean? You wanna talk to ya boy? Im going to call him. He's going to get a kick outta me seeing you today.
Me: Nahh I don't wanna talk to him. Im good.
Him: Come on, Im going to call him right now.
Me: Im good. He doesn't want to talk to me anyway. He told me there would never be a _____________ & Sheletha. So Im just going to let that be. Im good, seriously.
Him: Awwww you can't hold that against him, we were young and stupid back then. We live and learn. Gimme your number.
Me: NO.
Him: Why?
Me: NO because you are going to give it to him and I don't wanna talk to him.
Him: C'mon!
My mom: Let's go!
Me. NO
Him: Okay, but I wanna keep in touch with you. You were always so sweet and cool.
Me: Uhhh, I know what you are going to do and I already don't like it XXX-XXX-XXXX
Fast forward 10 hours: My plane lands in RDU Im struggling to catch my bag because I packed to much and its moving too fast on the turnstile. My phone rings to the BOONDOCKS THEME SONG.