BOOKSIGNINGS & BREECHES

Okay, so I went out for the first time by myself this weekend. We won't get into why I don't get out by myself more often, because trust me, it's only twisted in my mind.

Lets start out with whack azz Friday night. I got dolled up, super fine to go to this radio station free party for Steve Harvey that was in town this past weekend. It was at the Empire Room, which I realize is a pretty nice place if more people were there. I met nobody. I went early, stayed for about an hour, realized that I forgot my phone. Since Im literally down the street from my home I went back to retrieve it. By the time I got back and found a parking space 6 blocks from the venue the damn thing was over. The chick admiring my shoes was like, "yeah boo boo, (boo boo, WTF?) its over. The after party is tomorrow night at the Renaissance." I think she worked for the radio station. I'm looking at my watch its before 11pm. BOO.

Saturday morning I heard that Steve's bodyguard, Big Boom, wrote a book and is going to do a book signing over at the mall. In the true essence of Circle of Sisters Bookclub, I support all new authors so I got casually fine and went to the mall with the purpose of getting books. I will not walk past the Nine West store or Bakers, to the bookstore only!!!!

I was surprised to see that the title of Boom's book is "If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs" Very appropriate especially with love hangover experience. I was excited about my purchase of Boom's book and while I was waiting for him to arrive I was reading through the book. When they walked up and saw me reading Boom asked me if I liked what I was reading and of course, I was diggin' it.

But then Chad started talking. I looked up and this fine essence of a black man, but my eyes were primarily on this throat (pronounced: THOAT) I was going to offer him a cough drop or a peppermint because I thought maybe he was straining and in some kind of pain. Then I realized who he was, so I said "you're Tommy's intern!!" He said, "former intern." Whatever. I liked him. I needed to call my sister because no one would ever believe me when I said I heard the ultimate baritone voice. He talked to my sister and even she was asking me if that was real and to stop playing on her phone.


Boom signed my books and we chatted for a minute. He's soon to be my favorite author. I was happy. Oh, and by the way, Boom and Chad were clean as hale!!!! so I had to take some pictures.

Later that afternoon I went to the movies to see Talk to Me. Don Cheadle is the man. Wake-up Got Dammit! LOVE IT!!! Favorite line in the movie was when Dewey was telling Petey that they got the Johnny Carson Show and Petey's reply was "What its free pussy day today?.." I rolled.


Sunday I shoulda went to church, but instead I journeyed over to Ft. Bragg for the first time ever being on a military base. I didn't know that when you got to a military base it is worse than getting through an airport. I had to show all types of identification one of which being the registration of my car. It wasn't in its usual spot so Im trying to explain to the army man that my daddy taught me better, and I know that I should have those papers in my car, I just cant find them. He asked me what was I doing in Ft.Br.agg. I panic for no reason and with a careful arch of my back I begin to explain how I just travelled over an hour to get here, for a booksigning by Eri.c Jero.me Dick.ey. I didn't know it then but I know now that a pair of distractingly flyy double d's can breech the Uni.ted Sta.tes Arm.y security system. Those that know me understand that I have a love/hate relationship with my breasts. These girls came in handy cause I did not want to travel an 1½hrs without my books being signed. I went ahead to the booksigning where there were 100's of people waiting to get their Wal.king wi.th Ene.mies book signed. I was one of them. I thought we were going to be in a forum where he was also going to do a book reading. I enjoy those the most. However, we were in this Wal-Mart like facility where I was tempted to make some purchases that I didn't need. The lady that was standing ahead of me with her little girls told me that it was all tax free. (cue revelation music) Mr. Spoiler popped into my head reminding me of how much am I willing to spend to save $6.75. I resisted the urge to shop. Yay me! I spent my five minutes with the marketing genius who is EJD, and was on my way back home proud that I was out enjoying myself with myself.