Anniversary

“Fuck you muthafucka, you ain’t shit, and you never gonna be shit!” This was going to be the last time he hurt me. It was just days before he had sent me 3 fragrant red roses to my job. Included with those sentiments of love was a card that said these were to represent our eternity. That was the sweetest thing that I have ever known, until this final lie. Our weekend together was supposed to be simple, just a weekend in Detroit. We were not going to spend the whole time together just me with some friends from college while he was on the opposite side of the city with his parents. Our drive was going to be our time together, perhaps talking about his pending divorce, and what we would want our future to look like. Simple plans, sex talk along the way perhaps a detour or a stop that would make a 2-hour ride more like 3½. None of that happened because communication got screwed, and he left without me. It was only a matter of minutes from when we were supposed to leave; so he couldn’t have been outside the city’s limits. I asked him to come back to get me, since due to our work schedules we haven’t seen much of each other in weeks. He told me he was midway between the two destinations and unless he was doing a mach 5 down the highly patrolled I-94 corridor, he was undoubtedly lying.

This lie was unnecessary. It wasn’t until later I figured out what he had to hide. All I could comprehend at the moment was that he was the first to tell me he loved me, and I was a fool to believe him. I was caught up, he blindsided me with his attention. It was supposed to be a relationship that I had not experienced since the last time I laid eyes on my god-brother. He was there for me, advising me about this college life that appeared as if he had mastered. He was the one that made sure I got back to the dorm safe, after a night at the gym parties. He was the one that picked me up when I was stranded at the mall, or just didn’t want to ride the metro. He was Johnny-on-the- spot, when it came to moving from the dorm to my very first apartment. He told me he was getting married and I was elated for him. He told me that he and his wife was expecting a daughter and I was to be the Godmother. I was overjoyed. Four months after the birth of my brand new goddaughter, he told me first he was leaving his wife. I talked him out of it, until he did it on his own six months later. He was in a situation that he didn’t want to be in, I empathized with him. In the beginning he was my friend, in the middle he became my lover, now he’s any other trifling, lying, son-of-a-bitch.

This was silly, the way this was ending. I didn’t want it to end. I had to keep my sanity so I had to keep him. The panic attacks scared the hell outta me, cause at the time I didn’t know what was happening to me. I knew it was silly and I had to apologize for the words that I spoke to him. I came back from that initial anger and realized that a lady shouldn’t speak like that, not when it was aimed at the one she loved. Those words were not meant for the one that she compromised her body, her morals, and her faith. “Don’t call, don’t come over.” He said to me as if I were to obey. They were the words that he said to me with his other red headed lover at his side. She is same one that he fled the city and traveled 9 hours across the country to be with her family. I knew about her, the same way his wife knew about me. He told the same lies to her that he told to me, that he told to his wife. Payback, thy name is bitch.

Lesson learned in my twenties were that you could never make a man love you, no matter how hard you try. So many mistakes were made, so many empty promises. It was never a commitment, just promises. It was a turning point that molded me into the woman that I am today. I don’t think I can trust that way again, there were too many lies to try to sort out. It took a while to get him out of my system, so many tears. Tears that I shed while I was alone because after a while, the same people don’t want to hear any longer. I see the scab, and realize on this anniversary, I’m still grieving.

Playoffs & Pedicures

My friends are crazy!!! I have to give a SHOUT OUT to my girl, Kami. This time last year Kami, Dannika and I were all sitting together watching the playoffs doing our girly commentary. Sometimes we would have some men with us, sometimes we were doing pedicures. This year, however, I'm gone, but I see the tradition will never die. Kami is our resident Stephen A Smith. So here is her take on this weeks games.


The Detroit Pistons went, in the words of Rasheed Wallace during the 2006 Playoffs, "BANANAS" once again on the Chicago Bulls winning the game an impressive 108-87 victory on Monday night. There was so much EXCITEMENT I could hardly contain myself! Chauncey did his thug point-guard captain thizzle while Rip & the Palace Prince ran those fools! Although Sheed STAYED in foul trouble and eventually fouled out of the game he brought some different energy to the court which I think sustained the momentum and allowed Detroit to hold their lead. We have to do much better in games 3 & 4 in keeping our turnovers to a minimum and staying out of foul trouble. Chicago was able to attempt 52 shots from the free throw line in Game 2 and made 37 shots from the line. In any event the Pistons put the SMACK DOWN on Chicago. Anytime Ben WALLACE shoots and scores as much as Ben GORDON you know its going to be a cake walk to the finish line. Even Matt Hinrich was held to just TWO, that's right TWO points during the game! Now its off to the Windy City for games 3 & 4. I will say if Tay Tay keeps playing good hard offense and defense, Rip can keep up his fast pace and that dang Rasheed keeps killing 'em with his determination Chicago can join Dallas in Acapulco...LOL

Now on to Cleveland....Game 1 & 2 of this series SUCKED or at least it did for me as I want the Nets to advance. I don't know what's up with ya boy BIG VINCE but he has got to stop being afraid to run a couple people over!!!! J Kidd is doing his thing out there on the court but he needs some HELP from the big man Carter. I would appreciate Mikki Moore cutting off those dreads and going with a more faded up look. And Jennifer I am with you that Gooden needs to cut the beard off the back of his neck...NOT a sexy look AT ALL!

Not that you all really CARE about the West but that Carlos "Curervo" Boozer...OMG he is the man. He can score in the paint and from the perimeter AND he can play good defense. For a minute in that game I thought I was going to have break out the tissue for "CRY BABY" but that dang Boozer with 20 REBOUNDS (ridiculous!!) scored in the last 17 seconds. The Warriors have their work cut out for them and if they can get that COACH from drinking up all the Bud Light (LOL) he can help them slow down the Jazz and at least win ONE GAME.

As for the Suns...now y'all know how we feel about Raja, Nash and the crew but OMG at Steve Nash and the nasty GASH. You know I was on the floor lastnight when the fans came in and they all had those bandages on their noses in support of Nash.. that was HILARIOUS. I will say even though they dang near played a perfect defense and offensive game on Sunday lastnight there was something "different" about the team. It was either determination or redemption but what ever it was it WORKED. I think D'Antoni made a good call placing Thomas in the starting lineup and with a 101-81 victory I don't think anyone can dispute it. Hopefully the next game in San Antonio they will be just as DETERMINED. Did I say how FINE Raja was lookin? And although there is something to be desired about Amare....those damn MUSCLES...OMG!!!! He so skrong! (like Raja)...LOL

Okay that was a MOUTHFULL so I will fall back until Friday!

PISTONS 2/ bulls 0

Its the Series 2 Playoffs with DEEETroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls... The Pistons are ahead 2 games to ZERO...next game is in Chicago. I think we got this.




DISTRACTINGLY FLYY, I KNOW.



Chauncey Billups, Detroit’s offensive instigator in Game 1, struck hardest to open the second quarter with back-to-back triples. Two Richard Hamilton free throws later, the Pistons led by 24 points only two minutes into the second quarter, 42-18. Billups and Hamilton also got the best of their younger Bulls counterparts all night long. Ben Gordon had 13 points on 3-of-7 shooting, while Kirk Hinrich finished 0-for-7 from the field - after a 6-of-7 performance in Game 1 - and tallied only two points, six rebounds and seven assists.

PRAYER BEFORE STARTING WORK

PRAYER BEFORE STARTING WORK

My Heavenly Father, as I enter this work place,
I bring Your presence with me.
I speak Your peace, Your grace, Your mercy,
and Your perfect order into this office.
I acknowledge Your power over all that
will be spoken, thought, decided, and done within these walls.
Lord, I thank You for the gifts You have blessed me with.
I commit to using them responsibly in Your honor.
Give me a fresh supply of strength to do my job.
Anoint my projects, ideas, and energy,
so that even my smallest accomplishment
may bring You glory.
Lord, when I am confused, guide me.
When I am weary, energize me. When I am
burned out, infuse me with the light of the Holy Spirit.
May the work that I do and the way I do it bring
faith, joy, and a smile to all that I come in
contact with today. And oh Lord,
when I leave this place, give me traveling mercy.
Bless my family and home to be in order as I left it.
Lord, I thank you for everything You've done,
everything You're doing, and everything You're going to do.
In the Name of Jesus I pray, with much love and Thanksgiving.....
Amen.

SUSPECT

NO Words....

PLAYOFFS 2007...THE LEFT SIDE

That was a helluvah game last night. Both teams were so aggressive (s-o aggressive, hey Im a cheerleader) I thought for sure they were going to throw bow 'bows last night. When it comes to the western conference, I'm just a fan of a good game.

WARRIORS 3/MAVERICKS 2

Nowitzki scored 30 points, including 12 during a decisive 15-0 run in the
final minutes, as the Mavericks avoided one of the most shocking upsets in NBA
history with a 118-112 victory over the upstart Golden State Warriors in Game
Five of their first-round series.

Dreams

I don’t know if this is a combination of watching House, 24, and HEROS, and reading Eric Jerome Dickeys book all at the same time but I was having disturbing dreams all last night.

I dreamt that someone was after me. I don’t know why or who it was but I remember being at my mothers house and every time I would walk into the house, and turn on the light someone would shoot a big ass gun at me. They would always miss and I would flee running for cover. There was always some other man there that I do not know, protecting me. Getting me out of harms way just in the nick of time.

Every time I fell back asleep, the dream would start over again. If you have some interpretation of this dream, let a sistah know!

GET YOUR BROOM!!!!

ITS ABOUT TO BE A SWEEP!!!

The biggest one may have come just before halftime. Orlando looked like it would keep it close heading into the locker room, maybe even hold a lead. But Prince hit a 20-footer with 2.3 seconds remaining and the shot clock winding down -- his second jumper in the final 45 seconds. "He's the one guy on our team that people don't talk about," Saunders said. "He's kind of a silent assassin."

Man, I love this game.

ESPN.COM

PISTONS SPANK DAT AZZ

THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRAVEL...

Skybus Airlines Inc., a new U.S. budget carrier, said it will start flying May 22 with $10 one-way tickets available on all flights.

"Beginning today, passengers can buy airline tickets for less than the cost of a tank of gas," Skybus CEO Bill Diffenderffer said in a statement Tuesday.

The launch of the new low-cost carrier, which is based in Columbus, Ohio, could pressure established carriers like AMR Corp's (Charts, Fortune 500) American Airlines and Delta Air Lines Inc. (Charts, Fortune 500) Skybus, which plans to acquire more than 70 aircraft during the next five years, hopes to be able to undercut rivals by selling advertising space inside and outside its planes and charging for priority seating and checking bags.

It keeps costs down by only taking reservations over the Internet and not staffing a call center.
The start-up carrier, which has raised $160 million from investors, will have at least 10 seats available for $10 on its flights through Dec. 15. The $10 tickets don't include taxes and fees.


THIS IS GREAT!!! I WILL BE IN YOUR CITY BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.


www.skybus.com

ACTUAL CONVERSATION

Last night on the phone with my mom.


mommah: HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT GUY RUBEN TICK?

vixen: who?

mommah: THERES THIS GUY RUBEN TICK.

vixen: Ruben Studdard???

mommah: Nawwww, gurl. I know who that is, the americans idol guy. Im talking about Ruben Tick. He sings this really slow song, its so nice.

vixen: Mommah, its Robin Thicke.

mommah: Yeah, he got a black wife, she cute too.

vixen: uh, yeah. I got his CD about 4 months ago, hes not really all that new.

mommah: Im going to get that tape tomarrow.

sometimes Mommah tries to be hip....

Drugs Are Bad

I just can't get my brain to process the notion of 20 TONS OF COCAINE!!!!

click to read the story....

"At the end of the day there is nothing like a good drug bust to lift everyone's spirit," said the ship's captain, Charlie Diaz. "We were, of course, elated."

Get out!!!!

PRIZE FIGHTING

De La Hoya vs. Mayweather

I love watching boxing (when I don't pay for it) and since Mayweather is a Man from the Mitten I have to give him his props. But I like De La Hoya as well. What to do, what to do?

HBO is showing De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7. I have only seen one episode where they are showing the rigorous training that these prize fighters have to succumb to. Its really interesting to watch. Mayweather's father is a trip to behold. Mayweather has some beautiful teeth, despite getting hit in them. Not all the time, cause he protects his face, but I know a few has landed. Oscar (another pretty man) almost drowns his fool self. Thats kinda funny.

I don't know who to root for, just looking forward to the fight itself.

It was right around the time Floyd Mayweather decided he wasn't interested in hearing what Oscar De La Hoya had to say during yesterday's press conference that it became clear: this was just the beginning. We've barely started the tour, and the contenders are already talking trash and pushing each other around. Floyd's taking off his shirt, Oscar's yelling at him in Spanish. The buzz with the press? At this rate, they won't reach Vegas for the fight on the 5th; we'll have to set up a ring in Detroit and let them settle business there.

As Oscar said, "It's just more fuel, more fuel." Exactly Oscar, exactly.You couldn't pick two more different guys. Oscar considers himself the Golden Boy turned businessman; Floyd thinks he's the real deal, a polished tough guy who calls the shots and tells it like it is. Floyd sports baggy jeans and watches bigger than the knot on Oscar's tie. Oscar's suits are custom fit -- he's put together like a sports car. Floyd thinks that's as fake as the plants in a hotel. Oscar thinks Floyd is all talk. But they have one thing in common: they know how to play the boxing game. And they were playing it well yesterday.

So we're off on a roll. Let's take a short inventory of what we've seen already:- Theres a mob scene at the classy Waldorf Astoria; first the press clamoring to get in, and then the public, waving various flags and making a run for any food left by the press. No luck there.

- Boxing fans like to make their presence known. The back of the room could have been classified as "Press Conference 2" with fans shouting at the boxers, providing a running commentary in stereo.

- Floyd takes off his shirt as Oscar walks down the red carpet laid out for the event.- Not to be outdone, De La Hoya removes his jacket and tie and lifts his shirt, making sure everyone knows he, too, can flash some bling when he needs to.

- Floyd decides to disregard Oscar's speech, instead walking up and down the red carpet in front of the dais, raising his arm.

- De La Hoya 1) knows how to yell and, when ticked off, 2) how to please his Spanish speaking fans by only speaking Spanish, which is exactly what he did when Floyd didn't want to sit down.

- Floyd may have won round one by getting under Oscar's skin, turning his face burning red under his Caribbean tan. However, Floyd might want to watch out shoving Oscar around on stage. Last time someone did that they got shoved back.

They are talking shit, and Im loving it!

DEEEEETRRROOOIIITTTT BASKET-BALL

I LOVE ME SOME CHAUNCEY

ITS PLAYOFF TIME BABY, AND I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!!!



Mr. Big Shot...my baby daddy....Chauncey Billups converted five of six free throws in the last 30 seconds for the last of his 22 points to hold off the Magic in a game the Pistons lead by as many as 16 points and by 12 after the first quarter. DIDN'T THEY KNOW THAT YOU DON'T FOUL A 90% FREE THROW SHOOTER???? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???!!!!



This series is a wrap...

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO...

Born July 12, 1976, Tracie had her first brush with fame by winning the CBS television talent show Star Search in 1987, singing Whitney Houston's 1986 hit "How Will I Know". Shortly after, she signed a record deal with Capitol Records and released her self-titled debut album in 1987, all at the tender age of 11. She found some success with the singles "Hide and Seek", "Symptoms of True Love" and her remake of "Imagine" (composed by John Lennon). Her second album, Make the Difference, was released on August 27, 1990 . The first single, "Save Your Love", showed an impressive standing at #7 on the R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart. Her following single, "This House", became her biggest hit to date reaching #3 on the Billboard Hot 100. "Tender Kisses", one of her best known ballads, hit #1 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks and made her the youngest female artist to receive the ASCAP songwriter of the year award. The other singles, "This Time Make It Funky" and "Love Me", charted relatively well on The Billboard Hot 100 and the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks. As a child, Tracie attended St. Marys Grade School and continued her education at Columbus High School. Tracie,who also served on the board for the Children's Defense Fund as a teen and was given the Martin Luther King Christian Leadership Award for being a positive role model to our youth and traveling across the US and abroad as part of a "Stay In School" program, she made a guest appearance on the hit ABC sitcom, Family Matters in 1993 and recorded the song "I'll be There for You" for the 1997 film, Good Burger, "The Rain" for "A Smile Like Yours" starring Ashley Judd and Greg Kinnear, "Down In The Delta", and "Girlfight" starring Michelle Rodriquez. She also kept busy by doing some modeling for Tommy Hilfiger,Chanel and Dollhouse, which lead her to being apart of New York and LA's fashion week in 99-2000 being stylized by Derek Khan and signed to "NEXT" modeling agency . On June 29, 1999, she fully resurfaced with Tracie and found success with the hit singles "It's All About You (Not About Me)" peaking in the top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart selling more than 500,000 copies and "Still In My Heart", the latter showcasing her elastic soprano vocals. In the 2000s, she started singing background vocals on Hip-Hop songs for rappers such as Kanye West, 50 Cent, and Eve. She acted in the short film, A Tale of Two Sisters; in 2004 and in 2006, she performed in a play called Choices in Los Angeles and as of recently, she has been working on a new project.

My Cousin The Alderman

CONGRATS TO MY 1ST & FAVORITE COUSIN

TONI FOULKES

15TH WARD ALDERMAN, CHICAGO IL. !!!!!!!

I didnt like the picture that was posted, so Im not going to use it.


Foulkes slices big victory in 15th
by Kalari GirtleyApril 18, 2007
After a long tough race, Toni Foulkes moved to a clean victory in the aldermadic election for the 15th Ward. Foulkes, 43, beat Felicia Simmons-Stovall, 41, who is an attorney and employee of the secretary of state, by capturing more than 60 percent of the votes. Foulkes, a Jewel baker, will take office for the first time. Foulkes ended the evening with a decisive 948-vote victory - 2,790 to 1,842. "This is a victory for working families," Foulkes said. "My vision for the ward is to bring it back to how beautiful it was when I was a little girl." Foulkes first line of business will be to attack the high crime rate in the ward. At Foulkes' celebration about 100 supporters applauded when Foulkes entered the room. John Knighton, volunteer for the Foulkes camp, said he feels motivated and happy with the turnout. "We got the message across, Toni is really a beautiful person," Knighton, 44, said. Down the street at Simmons-Stovall's camp the mood was somber. "I am a little disappointed, but I had fun doing the campaign," Simmons-Stovall said. "I met a lot of wonderful people, and I got people interested in a community that they were not interested in at first." Despite losing, many of Simmons-Stovall supporters felt that they had put their best foot forward and remain loyal to Simmons-Stovall. Kenneth Burks said he has been with Simmons-Stovall since the beginning. "She is a very honest person, she is for the community and change," Burks, 43, said. Foulkes will now have to face many issues in the community that range from vacant houses, low employment, high crime, schools that are in poor condition and economic development in the 15th Ward Foulkes, an activist with ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now), whose campaign received more than $340,000 from the unions, grew up in the ward. Simmons-Stovall, product of the Robert Taylor Homes, has been an attorney for 10 years. She moved to the 15th Ward in the 1970s. Both candidates survived the general election that had 11 competitors running for Alderman Ted Thomas' seat. Thomas, who served two terms, was retiring due to health reasons. In February's election, Foulkes captured 33 percent of the votes while Simmons-Stovall received 26 percent.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO....

KLYMAXX

MEETING IN THE LADIE ROOM

WHAT IF SHE WAS RIGHT???

C. DeLores Tucker

"Our primary mission is to bring to government women and men that understand that the so-called economic and educational issues are those which should be priority items on the agenda of America," said Tucker. "We've just launched a black woman voter's crusade to get everyone registered to vote so that we can remove from office those persons who feel that it is not the government's responsibility to provide education and economic opportunities to our people. When the women in the entertainment industry came to us and asked us to help, that's when we got into this whole entertainment area."

Would we be where we are now??? These Rucker kids were mere babies or their mothers mistakes when the whole fiasco was going on. Ms. Tuckers intentions were in the right place but her message was WHACK! But, if we had listened then, would Imus still have his job?

When I first learned of this whole Imus situation and heard one of the players initial reaction was, "He wasn't talking about me, I comb my hair everyday" this is the same type of stance that I took C. Delores Tucker was trying to overthrow Interscope Records. We yelled and screamed, "this is entertainment", talking about censorship, and dismissing the notion of misogyny. I now realize how much of womankind is at stake. No one thought that someones baby would be called a nappy headed hoe in jest.

Called "narrow-minded" by some rappers who often called her out in their lyrics, Ms. Tucker picketed stores that sold rap music and bought stock in labels like Sony, Time Warner, and others in order to protest hip-hop at their shareholders' meetings. She also fought against the NAACP's decision to nominate late rapper Tupac Shakur for one of its Image Awards and filed a $10 million lawsuit against his estate for comments that the rapper made in his song "How Do U Want It?" on the album All Eyez on Me, in which Shakur rapped "Delores Tucker you's a motherfucker / Instead of trying to help a nigga you destroy your brother". In her lawsuit, Tucker claimed that comments in this song, and on the track "Wonda Why They Call U Bytch" from the same album, damaged her sex life with her husband. This case was eventually dismissed.

Rappers like Eminem still rap criticizing C. Delores even after her death. In the song "Rap Game" by D12, Eminem raps "I'm all for America, fuck the government / Tell that C. Delores Tucker slut to suck a dick / Motherfuck ducked, what the fuck? son of a bitch / Take away my gun, I'm gonna tuck some other shit".

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO......

B ANGIE B???

Known for her earthy, big-voiced wails, this Mississippi belle started out as a dancer for Hammer's entourage in the late 1980s. He discovered she can croon, and wasted no time signing Angela Boyd to his short-lived label, Bust It Records, in 1990. Soon after, B Angie B released her self-titled lone album in the summer of '91. Her sound was urgent as displayed on the elegant remake "Sweet Thang," (remade a year later by Mary J. Blige) the polished "So Much Love" and the funky new jack reinterpretation of the Emotions' "I Don't Want To Lose Your Love." The latter became a minor hit, nearly topping the R&B charts and did considerably well for Pop.

As Hammer's popularity started to wane, so did his proteges, including Special Generation and B Angie B. She would record the title track for Kid'N'Play vehicle Class Act in early '92, but as since, faded into obscurity and has yet to record again.

Im kinda pissed that I couldn't find any video or audio on B Angie B. What makes it worse is that I have the music video that was on BET's Video Vibrations in 1991, back when I was recording videos on the VCR after school. I just don't have the technology to squeeze it on YOUtube.

CLASS OF 1992

.......::::MIGHTY REDSKIN CHEERLEADER::::....

My advice to myself:

1. The power of the pen belongs to the professor. Just because the tuition is paid doesn't mean you deserve an "A"

2. They all wanna bone.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO....

THE BOYS??????



The Boys appeared to have a lot of talent and were encouraged by their parents to pursue their dreams. The group initially included only Khiry and Hakim, but Tajh and Bilal joined the group when they started to perform publicly. Together, they pushed their dreams further, performing to raise money for a Father's Day present. They began at the beach in Venice, California and quickly earned over 50 dollars. They started going to the beaches on a weekly basis in 1984. Through 16 shows, the kids made over $12,000.

Only allowed to perform over summer break, their earnings continued to grow as their parents tried to shape them into productive adults. In 1986, the boys moved their talents to try to make records. Their parents Jabari and Angela enrolled in a course in Entertaining Management at Los Angeles Trade-Technical College and used their learnings to help their kids develop. The kids began working talent shows and performing private parties. It was at one such talent show where the group got their name. Nameless up until that point, the announcer asked Angela what the group's name was. She responded with "my boys" and then quickly changed her answer to "The Boys." The name stuck.

The group sent their demo tape to MCA, Motown, and Solar Records and were given offers by all of them. Jheryl Busby signed the group while he was employed at MCA Records. However, when MCA purchased Motown records, Busby made a move up the ladder and the boys found themselves under the Motown label. Working with The Boys, Busby sought to bring the group to Jackson Five fame.

THEY BECAME:

THE SUNS OF LIGHT

As the 90s progressed, the members of the group moved to the Western African state of Gambia, where they set up a recording studio. Learning the native tongue, the group began to develop a new sound and became known as The Suns of Light. The group continues to produce music and release albums on a regular basis.

CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE AND SEE HOW MUCH THEY HAVE GROWN!

http://www.sunsoflight.com/

Class of 2007

THIS IS MY NEPHEW, AUBREY...HE IS GRADUATING THIS JUNE (I DON'T REMEMBER THE DATE)
I'm very proud of him and Im excited about his future...I don't really know what he plans on doing next, but Im not worried...Im sure he will excel where ever he goes.

Posting this picture of him makes me think of my high school graduation. I thought of all the things that I was going to do. The future looked bright as hell. I was just so geeked!

Here is your mission if you choose to take it: Post your graduation pic on your respective blogs. Let's see how much you have changed. What advice would you give yourself then, knowing what you know now?

No Lies

ALLOW ME TO BE EVEN MORE TRANSPARENT. I GAVE YOU ALL A LIST OF 101 THINGS ABOUT ME, BUT THERE MAY BE MORE INFORMATION THAT YOU WANT TO KNOW. IM ALLOWING YOU ALL THE OPPORTUNITY TO ASK ME A QUESTION AND I WILL ANWSER AS HONESTLY AS POSSIBLE!


LET THE GAMES BEGIN....

8 Hateful Things Women Do To Each Other

This is not a confession by any means, I just found this to be interesting to say the least. Tell me what you think.

by Norka Blackman-Richards | Circle Sister

It's become the silent emotional killer among women. Women who are downright mean, malicious and disrespectful with each other. This trend is creating havoc in our relationships with each other, for it strikes the core of sisterhood. Real sisterhood can only exist when respect and trust stand unshakeable. In this
particular, most men are quite opposite to us.

For a man, a brother is a brother is a brother. However, what is most disturbing about our malicious ways is that we are passing on a legacy of a broken sisterhood to our daughters. Girls that
are mean and catty are usually this way because their understanding is that this is a normal part of femaleness. They grow up to become mean and catty women who perpetuate a diseased sisterhood. To break this cycle we each need to make a conscious effort to validate all women. Be they our friends or not. Otherwise, we will continue to find ourselves moving within circles of female hostility, suspicion, and pain. Here is my list of the most detestable practices that we need to discontinue in order to heal our sisterhood:

1. Talking about each other - You are really not her friend if what you have to say about her is so bad you can't say it in front of her. If you are a real friend you should be able to tell her your concerns for her life to her face. If you have the need to tell others, but you haven't found the time to tell her - red lights should be flashing. Believe it or not, gossiping is not an intrinsic
part of being female. Women who gossip do it not because it's a woman-thing, but because they want to elevate themselves and put other women in a place of inferiority. Gossiping is just another symptom of deeper insecurities.

2. Fighting for men - One of the most undignified things that any woman can do is to fight, argue, or curse another woman over a man. It's a disgusting trend that used to be a school girl thing, but today adult women are doing it too. If both of you are in conflict - because his choice is not clear - then that means that he's really not into any of you. He's probably playing both of
you. That man really does not deserve love or attention from either one of you.
Let him go.

3. Joining female gangs - Women who make you feel unwelcome and unwanted within their circle of friends are not to be trusted. Women cliques have become common in the workplace, at church, in the neighborhood. Cliques are the dwelling place of insecure women. Women who join cliques are seeking refuge from their own lack of confidence by cocooning themselves within this circle of supposed exclusivity. Again, the need to belong to, or be part of a clique is also a sign of deeper insecurities. Beware, cliques are usually encouraged and thrive on a type of gang mentality.

4. Undermining each other - Beware of any woman who can never celebrate your accomplishments with you. It could be a new boyfriend, a promotion, an award, a new job, a new acquisition, weight loss. If she has nothing positive to say to
you about it, does not show emotional support, or chooses to remain silent she is not a true friend. Real friends know how to recognize and genuinely rejoice for our successes with pride.

5. Competing against each other - You need to get this straight. There will always be another woman with nicer hair, a more caring husband or boyfriend, better behaved children, a better paying job, a bigger house, a more fashionable wardrobe - there will always be some woman with more of what you don't have.
Consequently, the only person that you need to compete against is yourself. Strive to be the best that you can be - for you. Competing against other women to prove yourself superior is a financial and emotional drainer. Because of this mindless competition we become mean, envious and hypocritical. It is pointless.

6. Disrespecting boundaries - To survive peacefully every relationship and every friendship must have clear boundaries. Good relationships operate within margins of respect. Within this level of respect, privacy and intimacy are keywords. Yes, you are my friend, but that doesn't give me the right to walk into your bedroom or your kitchen, unbeknownst to you, and help myself to your stuff. I don't do this not because you won't allow me to, but because I respect your privacy and your things. Consequently, we both need to know and respect each other's levels of privacy and intimacy.

7. Crossing boundaries - This is similar to the above; the only difference is that my respect of your boundaries should never depend on my friendship with you. We need to respect women for the simple fact that they are women. If she is a woman she is a sister. Period. Therefore, from that understanding I will have
the utmost respect for her children, her man, her opinions, her choices, and for her as a person. It amazes me how women are quick to disrespect another sister's boundaries, but feel offended if another woman does to them the same exact thing. Honestly, that type of inconsistent behavior can only be credited to some
form of mental illness.

8. Exploiting our friendships - This is a major one. Why are you friends? Do you only remember her being around whenever she could get something from you? It doesn't even have to be material. It could just be your time or your positive energy. Does she happen to be always on the receiving side, with you dishing out ton loads of yourself or your stuff? Or is she your friend because of what you represent? It could be that your husband's position or yours, your possessions, your talent, whatever, represents some form of achievement. Is she a friend because that link to you places her on a higher platform? In a real friendship appreciation, support, and loyalty must be reciprocal.

101 Things about Sheletha

1. I am a child of God.
2. I was born October 11
3. My parents are still together and still living
4. I am the youngest of three siblings.
5. I have a niece & a cousin that is born on the same day as my birthday
6. I have double cousins (as a result of two sisters marrying two brothers)
7. The only operation that I have ever had was when I had a sewing needle in my knee and the doctors performed the operation without anesthesia. I was awake and screaming for four hours while my mom and nurses held me down.
8. I don’t have any brothers only a God brother named Marcus Perkins that I have not laid eyes on or talked to in about 17 years.
9. I graduated high school when I was 16
10. I only had one birthday party when I was nine.
11. My mother and I have birthdays two days apart and share the same initials SDM
12. I am an emotional eater.
13. I recently lost motivation to exercise daily.
14. I was an alternate speller for Spelling Bee in elementary school.
15. I got 100% on every one of my spelling tests in the forth grade, as a result of my sister drilling me the night before the spelling test.
16. I rely on Microsoft Word to spell for me.
17. I was the first one to wear Guess? To school in 1981.
18. My favorite color changes minute by minute, right now it is red.
19. I told a lie the day before I was baptized at the age of eleven.
20. I don’t want to have children.
21. I was a gymnast for 10 years.
22. I was 1 of 2½ Black people in my graduating class.
23. I am often insecure
24. I am very gullible.
25. I have never had a boyfriend.
26. The first time I ever flew in a plane was after 9/11.
27. My favorite candy is M&M’s and gummi worms
28. I have never had any childhood diseases like chicken pox or measles.
29. I like to play pool and bowl, but I’m not very good at either of them.
30. When I am at home alone, 98% of the time I’m nekkid.
31. I have gone eight months without repeating an outfit to work.
32. I often have concerts in my living room when I am home alone.
33. I’m short, 5’2”
34. I enjoy sleep
35. I like dogs, my first one was a poodle named “BOY”
36. I had a hamster named Erving Magic Johnson the Hamster.
37. I don’t know how to make a meal. I can cook, but not really.
38. I notice the broadness of a man’s shoulders, and his jaw line.
39. I have a silly sense of humor.
40. I have never gone over my minutes on my cell phone.
41. I name all my cars Natalie the Nova (1980), Mitsubishi Mirage (1997) named Ruby (she was red) a Mitsubishi Galant named Tiffani (2000), and Isabelle the Ion (2004).
42. I deserve the best kind of love possible.
43. I like cooking breakfast.
44. I was on a track team for a month. I quit before the first meet.
45. In college I was a founding member of an organization called You Beautiful Black Woman.
46. I went to truck driving school and completed part of my CDL testing. I have no desire to finish.
47. The furthest away from home I have been is Belize City, Mexico
48. I really didn’t start puberty until I stopped gymnastics. My voice is still high to some extent, and my body did not fill out until afterwards.
49. Since college I have had 4 different jobs in different areas of my degree.
50. I absolutely lose all my culture when I listen to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Can you say: ROCK OUT????
51. In the beginning of 2006, I was celibate for 43 days.
52. Although I was scared of the Soul Train, I wanted to be a Soul Train Dancer.
53. I have 117 pairs of shoes.
54. I can’t whistle or wink, when I do it’s by accident.
55. I have contemplated suicide
56. Sometimes people get on my nerves.
57. I can’t wait for my hair to turn grey. I have a few now but they are just highlights.
58. I remember President Jimmy Carter when he was actually the President.
59. I like watching fire.
60. The movie “Color Purple” is no longer a drama for me, it’s now a comedy.
61. I love to read. I belong to a book club called Circle of Sisters of Kalamazoo
62. I love community service.
63. I vote.
64. My favorite cities to visit is Dallas, TX and Chicago, IL
65. I wear my mother’s wedding ring.
66. I am a big cry baby.
67. I only rock a Coach purse daily. I own 10 of them.
68. I’m a sucker for a man with dimples.
69. I’m a sucker for toddler in overalls.
70. I curse a lot!
71. I have two tattoos on my body. (The Eye of Orisis on my shoulder, an ankh on my upper thigh)
72. I really like the symbol of an Ankh.
73. I once called the Cleo’s Psychic Hotline.
74. I don’t know anyone personally with the HIV/AIDS virus.
75. I am not allergic to anything.
76. I was an AKA-Teen and wore the crown of Ms. Fashionetta ‘89 & ‘91& ‘92 for Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. (Iota Sigma Omega)
77. I hate ghetto fiction
78. J. California Cooper is my favorite author.
79. One day I would like to become a literary agent.
80. My daddy would make me laugh when we watch Friday night fights together.
81. I am inspired by people that take risks.
82. I have never needed to play the lottery
83. I was unemployed/underemployed for 2 years.
84. I am aware of the angles that surround me.
85. I love black/white photographs.
86. I have never met my grandparents.
87. I have to make an effort to keep my feet from being ashy.
88. Learning new concepts are not easy for me. My resume says otherwise.
89. I like shopping alone.
90. I drink occasionally, but I haven’t been drunk in years.
91. I sleep on my stomach.
92. I am a Libra and very true to my signs personality. It’s EERIE!
93. I like learning new words and using them.
94. I find it humorous when people are clumsy.
95. I think cheese makes everything taste better
96. I like math because it is definitive.
97. I have an aggressive exterior, but I find myself being passive in a lot of situations.
98. I like my smile.
99. I don’t know if marriage is in my future, I’ve become ambivalent about the whole idea.
100. I’m a little conceited, a little materialistic, but none of these are in excess.
101. I am finally content with the way things are in my life.

The Many Faces of Sheletha

Rich told me that I look different in every picture that I take...I see my face all the time, so what do you think???

"the frog princess"

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) -- The Walt Disney Co. has started production on an animated musical fairy tale called "The Frog Princess," which will be set in New Orleans and feature the Walt Disney Studio's first black princess.The company unveiled the plans at its annual shareholders' meeting in New Orleans.John Lasseter, chief creative officer for Disney and the Disney-owned unit Pixar Animation Studios, said the movie would return to the classic hand-drawn animation process, instead of using computer animation that has become the industry standard. He called the film "an American fairy tale.""The film's New Orleans setting and strong princess character give the film lots of excitement and texture," Walt Disney Studios Chairman Dick Cook said.The movie will be scored by Randy Newman, who also wrote the music for Disney's "Toy Story," "A Bug's Life," "Toy Story 2," "Monsters, Inc." and "Cars."Newman performed a song from the score for the shareholders.John Musker and Ron Clements, who co-directed "The Little Mermaid," "Aladdin," and "Hercules" will co-direct the movie. The pair also wrote the story for the film.Disney said its new animated princess -- Maddy -- will be added to its collection of animated princesses used at the company's theme parks and on consumer products.The film is set for release in 2009.Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

My Family....

This is a portrait of a black family..my family. Yes it was years ago, but this is my daddy and his favorite girls. I look at this picture and think of so many things. First, it looks as if I was soooo not impressed with the photographer. Then I think: Wow, my life really wasn't that bad. When I think about the goodness of God and allll that he's has brought me through, I get so much joy! It just amazing that I see so much potential with this family, yes there are some ups and downs but we got through it together. I think of so many of my friends who didn't have their father in their home, or parents that are not together anymore for whatever reason and I feel so blessed! Even now, I see the example of loyalty of marriage vows "in sickness and in health" that has the potential to be very tangible. I see the strength of a black man and woman leading their family with God as their foundation, and the hedge of protection all around them. I think of sisterhood that is beyond comprehension, that no greek letter or intake process can EVER claim. I see my family, and even though I can't pick em I wouldn't change them for the world.

Confession #7368

"YOU DONT WANT TO SEE ME ANGRY!"

Needless to say, like the previous post...This show scared the $hit outta me. Same age, same scenario still running out of the basement until the commerical comes on. My sister swears that I fell and busted my knees running up the steps, but I really don' t remember that part. The crazy part is that I never missed the show!

Confession #1079

You all got to see who my all time favorite male singer. My confession is that Mary J. Blige is my all time favorite female singer.



None other that the Queen of Hip-Hop/Soul (who makes these up?) No matter what she sings about it is always on time and in line with MY LIFE. There was a point in time where it seemed as if everthing she was going through I was going through. It was just time for us to say NO MORE DRAMA!! Although we are exact polar opposites (absent father, drug abuse, domestic violence) she inspires me. She inspires me to continue loving black men.








Rumor - K-Ci of Jodeci supposedly apologised to Mary for his wrong doing in the past. Here is the video of that crack head performance.

Ode to Kalamazoo

"Meet Me North"

Add to My Profile More Videos



To be honest, this is some hot ass mess. I never even lived on the North Side, but as a young adult I hung out there from time to time.

Confession #7481

When I was younger, probably 5 years old, I was deathly afraid of the Soul Train Introduction. Oh yeah, I know you're thinking that the train look happy-go-lucky. But to a five year old, when it turned and started coming towards me on the screen....(my throat tightens just thinking about it)I would run out of the room. I don't quite remember what I was thinking other than Im about to get run over, but with it bobbing and bouncing it appeared as if it was only lurking to get ME! I loved the show, but I would only come back when Billy Dee Williams was pushing his malt liquor to me. This is a true story, my sisters still torment me about this to this day!

Confession #1062

My confession here is that I am a big kid at heart. I still love the animation of the old school.

And some of the new school. I remember running home from school just to catch the next episode of THE ANIMANIACS!!!!




Did you know that this summer will be the summer of THE TRANSFORMERS?????

Confession #9743

This man moooooves me:






And this is my all time favorite:



Naughty things float through my mind when I listen to this man...

CONFESSION #3622

I was told if I was going to do something numerical then I must start with a random number and be inconsistent. So here goes:

If I were a stripper this would be my song:



Moments of Love

The song alone can put you in a trance.

I'm reading this book by Kimona Jaye "The Good Girls Pole Riding Club." This book is not only hilarious but the characters are transformed with purchase of a $560 stipper pole. The go to the strip clubs to learn how to booty clap and do all sorts of moves. They even went to a couple of classes to hone into their own technique. I'm only half way through it...I'll tell you later if I like it.

There are stripper classes in Charlotte & Raleigh at a fitness center called B-Risque.
What a way to spice up your workout!!!!

Confidence vs. Ego

"You call me conceited when my confidence meets your insecurities"

I love that quote, because sometimes its so true. I've been called stuck up and standoffish when really I'm down to earth and sometimes consider myself a recluse. Living in a new city and all my friends being so far away, I find myself sticking to myself a lot more. There are just somethings I won't do by myself, like going to the movies, restaurant or whatnot. I have tried these things alone, but its just not the same. I don't always want to be alone.

Heres some dialogue that you can consider for the day:
Having confidence in your abilities is an important part of life. But how do you know when you're crossing the line into building an ego? Someone who is always bragging about himself not only sours the relationships with those around him, but also develops his actions into a pattern that is hard to reverse. Do you alienate people around you with your ego? Have you crossed the line of confidence to egotistical? Instead of bragging about your accomplishments, discuss how you got there or the people that helped you along the way. This way you can share your success in an endearing way without making it all about you. Take the focus off of yourself for a moment and think about how your success can be a tool to help others achieve the same.

AVIS UPDATE

EVERYBODY WAS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD CONTACT AVIS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED OVER THE WEEKEND. LITTLE DID YOU KNOW I WAS WAY AHEAD OF ALL OF YOU. A PORTION OF WHAT I PUT IN MY BLOG WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WROTE TO AVIS ABOUT THE SITUATION. THEY CONTACTED ME BACK THIS MORNING AND THIS IS WHAT THEY SAID:

Thank you for contacting Avis, Ms. Manuel.

Please accept our apologies for the delay in responding to your e-mail
andfor all your concerns during your Avis rental.

We were appalled to learn of the less-than-courteous treatment you
receivedfrom the Avis renting location. First and foremost, Ms. Manuel, rental
agents are trained to be both helpful and professional at all times.
Most assuredly, they are expected to convey and amicable feeling under all
circumstances. Avis clearly understands that most travelers need to be
assisted as quickly as possible without losing sight of the usual
amenities.

We apologize for the ill-mannered treatment you received at Kalamazoo
location and we have sent a copy of our report to the district manager
responsible for this area, so that corrective action may be taken. We
do not take comments such as your lightly, and appreciate your taking the time
to bring this to our attention.

In an effort to display our concern for your poor experience, we would
like to mail you Avis Customer Service Certificates for your use on a future
Avis rental.

Please confirm your mailing address as:

1101 xxxx #3021
Greensboro, NC 27401

We hope you will redeem this certificates and benefit from another
demonstration of Avis "We Try Harder." spirit.

Please let me know if we may be of further assistance and thank you for
choosing Avis.

Sincerely,

Bettina Klamm/0222
Avis Customer Service E-mail

PROVERBS & PHILOSOPHIES

Over the weekend while I was at home in Kalamazoo my bookclub had an event called Male Appreciation Day. This day was put together to salute our black men and discuss male/female relationships. We cooked (They cooked, I bought a Red Velvet Cake) a dinner consisting of Turkey, Dressing, Baked Macaroni & Cheese, Greens (ohmigod I'm salivating) corn casserole, The STUFF, various chicken wings from Wing Heaven. It was the bomb diggity yo!!!
My sisters wore T-shirts that read; "I still (heart) Black Men." One of our favorite authors, Earl Sewell from Chicago, IL came through and did a radio interview on a local radio station and book signing at Borders in Crossroads Mall. They day was busy and it was a great turn out.
The book of the month was by author, Mel Jackson, Keeping the Pussy 11 Things Women Won't Admit. The title of the book was a eye catcher for the guys (they all think they know how to keep pussy) and the shock value of the Pussy Proverbs added for great conversation. We went through all the proverbs with the men adding their two cents and women admitting to what made sense. We asked the guys to come up with their own "Phallic Philosophies" that women could keep in mind. Here is what they came up with:

(Compiled during Circle of Sisters, Kalamazoo MI, MALE APPRECIATION DAY
(COS goes M.A.D, Saturday, February 17, 2007)

Stop talking and pay attention. Women tend to talk
over and for the men. Just stop talking and pay attention; you might actually
hear something

Timing. Learn and know you man so you can determine
what he needs when he needs it.

Men say what they mean – don’t try and analyze and
interpret. If he said it, he meant it.

Be real, truthful and honest—In whatever area, just
tell your man the truth
Listening and don’t try to interrupt. Please
see number 1.

Sometimes they want to figure it out on their own—Many
times men will say they don’t want to talk about something or they’ll say just
let me figure it out. Let them do just that and stop trying to fix
everything

Be supportive. If you man is trying to be the man,
have his back. Don’t throw monkey wrenches in his way, ad lift him up in his
endeavors.

Don’t be afraid of success. If your man wants you, he
wants you! Don’t get bogged down worrying about other females, If he’s going to
leave you, you can’t stop him, so grab a hold and enjoy the ride-hell, you
deserve it.

Fuck your men well – drain it. In various positions
even; try something different sometimes. However, men do know it’s mutual.

Do what he asks you no matter what it is. If you man
has any kind of character, he is not going to ask you to do anything crazy. If
his character is questionable, you should’t be with him in the first
place.

The day was great...Ill have pictures to post later....

free hit counters

AVIS

I recently went back home to visit Kalamazoo for a weekend and I rented a car simply because I didn't want to hear my mothers mouth. I knew I was going to be out and about for extended periods of time and although my mother won't admit it, she's scared of driving. So that means everybody needs to stay at home. "Not I" said the cat.
Even though I planned the trip in advance, the travel was excruciating beginning with Delta Airlines. That pissed me off so bad I don't want to relive it by blogging it. Well, when I returned my rental to the airport Jack, the Representative at the Kalamazoo Airport location was the rudest "professional" I have ever encountered. I was having a problem with my reservation coupon that was offered to me on line. He made it seem as if it was unusual for there ever to be any type of weekend rental offer. He has never been on the company website and didn't know what I was talking about. He didn't even try to understand or inquire about such discounts available. His appearance (which included a very wrinkled button up shirt and a poorly tied striped tie) and demeanor and gestures (by throwing up his hands and commenting "I'm done.") made it seem as if he was not at all concerned about customer service. He altogether made me feel like he thought I was lying to pay less for a rental. I had given him all the reservation information, Avis Wizard number, etc. that I had at the time and since I cursed (more-so at myself, not at him, because of the Delta Airline experienced that just occurred that put me in this Avis situation)he would no longer help me. He continued to gesture the "I'm done" as described before and did not do anything to help. He added more fire to this situation by calling my cell phone and hanging up when I answered while I was waiting for my plane to depart. When I called the number back, it picked up and immediately the call disconnected. I thought it was something important so I called again and I asked, "who is this?"

he said "I dunno."

I said, "This number just called my phone twice."

He said, "This is the Avis counter."

I said, "So you are F$%King playing on my phone??"

He hung up. There was no reason for Avis to call my number after I returned their car. He didn't give me any indication that he had found the internet coupon. I seriously doubt if I ever rent from AVIS again.
Oh and yeah, I called him a bitch.

I HAVE A DICTIONARY

The BreakThrough

June 19, 2006

5:26pm


When I look back over this time, I think about the goodness of what God has done for me. Now when you look at me you are looking at a miracle. When you hug me, you’re hugging a miracle. When I was ready to lose my mind and accept defeat, He said no. He promised me that when the enemy comes against me one way it is forced to flee from me seven ways. And for that, Lord I thank you. I remember sitting at church listening to a sermon by my pastor in which he said, “God is not going to let you die in the wilderness.” That one statement saved my life. It was just the rejuvenation that was needed to let me see where I needed to go. What the enemy meant for evil, God custom designed it for my good. I didn’t want to go, but I told Him I would listen and move. He was moving me out of my comfort zone. He moved me out from everything that was established and rooted. He moved me from what I thought was my identity of my own; where I thought I was finally an individual, back into the environment of shadows. This was an act of necessity. In my heart of hearts I believed that no matter what state I was to be in, I was to be content. In this, I know there will be joy and deliverance. In a matter of weeks, what took two years in Michigan to find suitable employment, I was faced with potentially two very different career paths in North Carolina. One, a firm and steady check week after week in advertising and the other, temporary (with a possibility of promotion) in higher education. This was a bittersweet conundrum that I was happy to finally face! Bittersweet because it wasn’t long ago where everything I touched failed miserably. This was a crossroad that I was facing that was going to affect the rest of my life. The choices that I make today will perhaps determine where I will be years from now. I had to play it safe; taking a career path with only possibilities was too much of a risk. Perhaps, if I believed in myself a little more maybe I would choose different. I had to pray to remove all doubt and disbelief; I will no longer walk in the spirit of fear. Any choice that I made there will be promotion ahead of me, I will have the favor of God and everyone will see His glory. Right now, I’m on autopilot; taking steps that are only ordered by God. In a matter of four short months I’m literally higher than I have ever been. Now I live in a condominium on the 12th floor of a luxury high-rise building. I have an increase of faith like never before. He blessed me so that I could draw nearer to Him, to know Him intimately. He told me that if His word abides within me, I could ask what I will in His name. I am finally depending on Him on choices that I am making. My life is not my own anymore, I know that its not going to be easy. After all, He is my Shepard and I shall not want. He promised that he would supply my every need, exceeding and abundantly and above all that I could ask or think. I see my deliverance and breakthrough, and for that, Lord I thank you!

The Praise!

Father, I come boldly before your throne of grace, thanking and praising you for Your blessings and prosperity upon my life, and upon the lives of my family. According to Your Word, You said that You desire above all things that I may prosper and be in health, even as my soul prospers; therefore, I know that it is Your will for me to prosper.

Father, I thank You first of all, that my soul prospers in You. I thank You that I prosper daily in the knowledge and understanding of Your Word, and that I become rooted, grounded, settled, and establish in Christ Jesus.

I thank You that according to Your Word, You have established us as kings and priest unto the Most High King, Jesus Christ. Father, You said in Your Word, “When a king shall decree a thing, it shall be established.” Therefore, I decree and declare according to Your Word, that I am blessed the city and blessed in the field; I am above only and not beneath; I am the head and not the tail; I am blessed coming in and blessed going out; I am the lender and not the borrower. I thank You that I am blessed upon my job, and blessed in my home. I confess also that my family is blessed, and my children are blessed and prosperous all the days of their lives.

I thank You Father that I am blessed in my mind with a sound mind, and with the peace of God that passes all understanding. I thank You for blessing me in my body with good health. I thank You for making me to lie down in green pastures, which are the abundance of Your blessings; and Your blessings are continually upon me and overtaking me in every area. I thank You that the windows of heaven are open for me, and You are constantly pouring me out the abundance of Your blessings up my life – spiritually, physically, and financially, whereby I do not have room enough to contain them.

I thank You Father that You have made known Your thoughts towards us – thought of good things and blessings for us and not of evil. You instructed us to say continually that You are magnified and You take pleasure in prospering us. So I confess according to Your Word, both now and continually that “YOU ARE MAGNIFIED O LORD AND YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN PROSPERING ME” in every area of my life.

I thank You for opening doors of prosperity and success for me that no man can shut, I thank You for also closing every door of failure and defeat in my life which no man can open. And I pray that You would anoint the works of my hands, whereby I may prosper in everything I do.

Father, I pray that You would bless me to keep my eyes upon You continually. Help me to seek You and Your will, first and foremost in my life. For You said in Your Word that if I seek first the Kingdom of God and all of Your righteousness, You would bless the desire of my heart to be added unto me, and bless me to prosper in everything I do. I thank You therefore that I am blessed and prosperous in my spiritual life, my job, and my finances. And Father, I pray that Your goodness and mercy follows me all the days of my life, in every area of my life.

Father, You promised in Your Word that if I would walk in Your ways that You bless me to prosper, and You would cause my leave not to wither. Therefore, I confess Your Word that the leaves of my health shall not wither, and the leaves of my finances shall not wither, I also confess that the leaves of my car, home and household appliances, equipment, and furnishings shall not wither. I decree that God’s blessings are upon them to last, and Satan cannot bring destruction on God’s blessing in my life in any area or in any way. I decree this by the authority of the Word or the Living God in the name of Jesus Christ.

I take authority over every hindering spirit of the enemy. I bind them my life and I render them helpless, powerless, inoperative and ineffective to hinder my life in any way, by the authority of the name of Jesus Christ. I pull down every stronghold of the enemy, and I cast down every wicked spirit that Satan would attempt to use against me.

Father, according to Your Word, if an enemy is caught stealing, he must return seven-fold of that which he has stolen. Father, I have caught the enemy. For Your Word has revealed and exposed Satan as the thief who comes to steal, kill and destroy. So Satan, by the authority of the name of Jesus Christ, I command You to return seven-fold of everything you have stolen from every area of my life.

Father, I thank You that this is a prosperous day, week, month, and year for me, and the doors of success have been opened. I confess that I shall succeed in everything in Christ, because every door of failure has been closed, and I shall not know defeat. And I am fully persuaded, that what You have promised in Your Word, You are well able to perform in my life.

Now Father, I thank You for Your Word, and how Your Word does not return unto You void, but it accomplishes that in which You send it to perform. So as I have prayed Your Word, I thank You that Your blessings are performed and accomplished in my life. In the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ, I pray, AMEN!


-By Kenneth Scott, The Weapons of Our Warfare

Prelude to the Breakthrough

I left my copy of the breakthough at home but recently I received this email that fits perfectly!!! Enjoy.

@The Purpose of the Desert
TGIF Today God Is First, by Os Hillman

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. - Hosea 2:14

If you have an important message to convey to someone, what is the best means of getting the message through? Have you ever tried to talk with someone who was so busy you could not get him to hear you? Distractions prevent us from giving our undivided attention to the messenger. So too, God has His way of taking us aside to get our undivided attention. For Paul, it was Arabia for three years; for Moses, it was 40 years in the desert; for Joseph, it was 13 years in Egypt; for David, it was many years of fleeing from King Saul.

God knows the stubborn human heart. He knows that if He is to accomplish His deepest work, He must take us into the desert in order to give us the privilege to be used in His Kingdom. In the desert God changes us and removes things that hinder us. He forces us to draw deep upon His grace. The desert is only a season in our life. When He has accomplished what He wants in our lives in the desert, He will bring us out. He has given us a mission to fulfill that can only be fulfilled after we have spent adequate time in preparation in the desert. Fear not the desert, for it is here you will hear God's voice like never before. It is here you become His bride. It is here you will have the idols of your life removed. It is here you begin to experience the reality of a living God like never before. Someone once said, "God uses enlarged trials to produce enlarged saints so He can put them in enlarged places!"

He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me (2 Samuel 22:20).

The Break

The agony of being alone
The fear of doing things on my own
The tests and trials that come to make me strong
The feelings of guilt, hurt, shame and defeat
The waves of trials that beat upon me
But to know Lord, in You I've got victory.

The Break

May 12, 2006

1:10pm


This is crazy. I can’t get a flippin’ job in the mall??? The place where I spent 5 years of my undergraduate experience, where now I’m too over flippin’ qualified. I can’t get a flippin’ job? I feel pressure in my chest. I can’t breathe. I know I did a fabulous interview. Why did she play me? “Fill this application out and give it back to me soon”, she says. I give it back to her the same day including a stellar resume. Why did she act as if she needed someone right now quick, fast and in a hurry only to stop and say I’m not hired? Does she know how much she just crushed me? This was only supposed to be temporary. After two years of the same thing, I can’t go through another interview anymore. I can’t tell my whole experience to someone that doesn’t care. I can’t hear a fake apology anymore. After two years, I can’t explain what I have been doing for survival. I’m tired of feeling of inadequate after that particular question. I don’t want to hear any form of NO anymore. I’m desperate. I just need some money to pay rent and my car. This time I learned how to budget. I can get by on Oodles of Noodles and PB&J; I don’t need to get any new clothes, I’ll do my own hair; I’ll let it grow. I know that the mall job isn’t going to be enough, but it will be some validation. The mall job is the validation that is needed to know that I can accomplish something. Anything. I know how much I’m trying, but everything that I do I fail. I see the look on my family’s faces when I come around, whether its real or imaginary I know that I’m keeping them from doing something because it seems as if I’m the noose around their neck. I’m no good to anyone, not even to myself. This should be just the end of me. Then, at least I know that everyone else is okay. I give up. I don’t want to go on. All these promises that God has given me are not manifesting itself in my life. I repent! I didn’t do all that you wanted me to do. I didn’t have an attitude of gratitude. Anger, regret, and bitterness harnessed their way into my heart and I’m sorry! I know you didn’t bring me this far to just leave me here on the floor thrashing and crying. All the “you said’s!” are coming back into my memory and are spewing towards the ceiling. Every scripture that I have learned of restoration and faith are pouring out with every tear I cry out to you Lord. I want to die so bad, but I know if God doesn’t do it then it won’t be done. This time I’ll listen! This time where you tell me to go I’ll go, just speak to me one more time. Give me a chance to believe in myself again.
So, just bless me or let me die.

The Crack

I've come through many hard trials
Through temptations on every hand
Though Satan's tried to stop me
And to place my feet on sinking sand
Through the pain and all of my sorrows
Through tears and all ofmy fears
The Lord was there to keep me
For He's kept me in the midst of it all

Feb 9 2005

11:26pm

How do I feel?
I’m typing this because my handwriting has turned to shit. These are going to be some random thoughts that are in my head, only because I don’t feel like writing grammatically correct. Anyway I feel isolated. Set apart from everyone else, people are around me but are not committed to me. When I say committed, committed to me.. to my thoughts, feelings, actions both positive or negative. There isn’t anybody there. Nobody, but everyone is around saying one thing or another. Today I felt as if both my mother and father were dead. But in actuality they are both very much alive. But I lost my daddy to an illness that doesn’t allow him to remember that I ever existed. My mother, I lost to her own twisted, demented, self-loathing. She is so not happy and never one to be satisfied. No matter how hard I try to please her, it is a wasted battle. I don’t have the desire anymore to try. Why? She’s not going to change. She is who she is, so in order for me to keep any level of sanity of my own…I separate myself from that part of her personality. I guess this whole isolation thing is something that I caused to manifest. The dumbest thing is that I think I am something like her. I’m not happy with myself, not with where I am at this time in my left. I have no stability whatsoever. I am currently dependent on the support financially of my parents. It’s just so pitiful, pitiful of me being me. I can change it though; I’m no stranger to struggle. Not to struggle in the sense of down to nothing, but sure to sacrifice. Now I just understand that it will be taken up a notch (er, six). Furthermore, I know that it will be temporary. It won’t always be this way. But for now, I will have to do what I can to survive. Survive without her support because, if I ask… there will be a price. There is no value in kissing her ass for all of eternity just so she will have some validity that she is a wonderful mother when she isn’t. A thought came to me today that every time I tried to come to her with an issue that was on my heart, the only way she knew how to handle it was with a nerve pill, or some type of medication. Where does she get these? When Ben and I had our falling out, and he broke my heart…she handed me a nerve pill…When I got fired from my job…she handed me a nerve pill. That’s just sick. I’m over here having an emotional breakdown and all she can do, is provide medication. Then when she finally does talk…she talks about herself… oh, and the standard “I love you, and God loves you”…okay yeah, but what about listening to me? Today there was no self-esteem left in me. Today I just didn’t care. I just thought and pray to God what are you going to do? You said that you would be a light unto my feet. And that the steps of a righteous man availed much, I am righteous because you made me righteous so I can boldly come to you as ask, What are you going to do? This is a burden and you said that you would carry them. You got some bills to pay, some minds to renew, some hearts to mend, and some impossibles to make possible. Baby girl has just cast her cares upon you so now what? Today, I needed a husband. One that would just sit with me and hold me in his arms and lay my head on his chest so that I could cry. God is the lover of my soul; I know he’s got that covered. But just for a minute I wanted to be held and rocked… told that everything was going to be okay. I didn’t want him to fix anything, I didn’t want him to protect my honor, I didn’t want any of that…cause when it comes to matters of family…there really isn’t anything he could have done, but just let me curl up in his arms and let me cry. That’s what I wanted, just for that moment. I might be wrong in wanting that but that’s just a connection I wanted.

Coming Soon! Testimony: The Crack, The Break, The Breakthrough

I've been around surfing peoples blogs since the new year and everybody is coming up with some introspective shit. I decided that I'm going to come up with one too! I got a good title so that is all you get right now. It's going to be a work in progress. This is really my testimony that I must share. I'm kinda scared though, being totally transparent to those that only know the surface of me. It's all good though, because you already know the end result. What you will see is a portion of my journey. Stay tuned.